Hungover Owls

There it is, the picture that started it all—Old Brown from...

Sat, 15 Sep 2012 11:05:02 -0400

There it is, the picture that started it all—Old Brown from Squirrel Nutkin. Look how little shit he’s willing to put up with right now! None. None of the shit.

I started this blog as an excuse to lie in bed hungover rather than stand outside hungover, and it’s only appropriate that it ends the same way. Yes, this is the 500th—and last—Hungover Owls post. I am reasonably satisfied that I have had my say on the subject, if not 499 more says than anybody should.

And that’s all on you. I cannot thank all of you enough for making this incredibly stupid dream possible. From the Audubon-qualtiy photo submissions, to hungover owls Halloween costumes, to just the folks commenting “Jake is that you???” enthusiastically under a vomiting screech owl, you’ve all been the very, very bestest. Thank you.

If any one of these guys helped you deal with the physical and emotional fallout from that last theme party in any way, please consider dropping five bucks into the owl charity of your choice. Mine would be the World Owl Trust. Just try to say no to a baby tawny in a bucket.

If any of y’all are in Boston, I heartily encourage you to check out DigBoston.com, the alt-weekly/counter-cultural nexus I’m at. Plenty of hangover jokes, but I can shoehorn in an owl or two if you ask nicely. Also, I’m going to link to that book one last time. Done.

Well folks, this is it. Fly safe.

“So…am I getting kicked out, or am I kicking you...

Mon, 10 Sep 2012 09:08:43 -0400

“So…am I getting kicked out, or am I kicking you out? I’m a little hazy on protocol right now.”

Thanks to Kevin Dodds for the photo submission!

“The pain in my head…is moving. WHY IS THE PAIN...

Fri, 07 Sep 2012 10:49:18 -0400

“The pain in my head…is moving. WHY IS THE PAIN MOVING?”

Thanks to Allison Price for the photo submission!

“Of all the terrible things I am feeling right now,...

Thu, 06 Sep 2012 10:36:39 -0400

“Of all the terrible things I am feeling right now, ‘surprised’ is not one of them.”

Thanks to Kelly Holzworth for the photo submission!

“EVERYTHING JUST NEEDS TO STOP HAPPENING FOR LIKE FIVE...

Sat, 01 Sep 2012 17:19:00 -0400

“EVERYTHING JUST NEEDS TO STOP HAPPENING FOR LIKE FIVE GODDAMN MINUTES OKAY.”

Thanks to Karen Andrews for the photo submission.

“WhyamIsoreWhyamIsoreWhatdidIdoWhyamIsore.” Thanks...

Mon, 27 Aug 2012 09:53:12 -0400

“WhyamIsoreWhyamIsoreWhatdidIdoWhyamIsore.”

Thanks to Hannah Hunt for the photo submission!

“What is this? Is this jail? Is this what jail looks...

Sat, 25 Aug 2012 13:39:17 -0400

“What is this? Is this jail? Is this what jail looks like?”

Thanks to Laetitia Ulick for the photo submission!

”’I just acted like myself?’ That’s the...

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 10:52:02 -0400

”’I just acted like myself?’ That’s the worst thing I could have done!”

Thanks to Erin Taylor for the photo submission!

“The bride and groom started chanting “shots”...

Mon, 20 Aug 2012 10:04:51 -0400

“The bride and groom started chanting “shots” and then I woke up in a basement.”

Thanks to Mary Chlopek for the photo submission!

“What? Yeah. Yep. On it.” Thanks to Parker...

Fri, 17 Aug 2012 11:09:31 -0400

“What? Yeah. Yep. On it.”

Thanks to Parker Mathieson for the photo submission!

“Jury’s still out if I’m hungover, or just...

Thu, 16 Aug 2012 11:47:24 -0400

“Jury’s still out if I’m hungover, or just really tired. Fingers crossed.”

Thanks to Alexis Frangis for the photo submission!

“The fuck? Am I like, inside the couch?” Thanks to...

Tue, 14 Aug 2012 09:44:53 -0400

“The fuck? Am I like, inside the couch?”

Thanks to Sarah (Fido Barkswiggles) for the submission!

“I’m not sure what I did to get here, but I’m...

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 09:39:00 -0400

“I’m not sure what I did to get here, but I’m not sorry I did it.”

Thanks Esther Kezia Harding for the submission!

“Fuck off. This is my bush. Get your own.” Thanks to...

Fri, 10 Aug 2012 09:50:19 -0400

“Fuck off. This is my bush. Get your own.”

Thanks to John Kelly for the submission!

“Okay, well…now I feel like a...

Thu, 09 Aug 2012 09:39:45 -0400

“Okay, well…now I feel like a hypocrite.”

Thanks to Jaap Kooiman for the submission!

“Oh, like you’re so high and mighty that you never...

Wed, 08 Aug 2012 10:52:00 -0400

“Oh, like you’re so high and mighty that you never passed out naked on the lawn.”

Thanks to Jessica Perkins for the submission!

“Man…I kinda wish I was surprised about the horrible...

Tue, 07 Aug 2012 10:52:36 -0400

“Man…I kinda wish I was surprised about the horrible stuff I’m apparently capable of doing.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m listening. I’m...

Mon, 06 Aug 2012 18:28:57 -0400

“Yeah, yeah, I’m listening. I’m just…trying really hard not to.”

“No, no things. I don’t even want to do things....

Thu, 02 Aug 2012 10:56:00 -0400

“No, no things. I don’t even want to do things. Things are stupid!”

“I was up till four in the goddamn morning because I was...

Tue, 31 Jul 2012 10:28:28 -0400

“I was up till four in the goddamn morning because I was too drunk to masturbate. Now is not the time to fuck with me.”